First, let the record show that I love children. I celebrate them. And not just my children….pretty much all children!
I appreciate the creativity & innocence of kids & their ability to fearlessly color, sketch, sculpt, paint passionately & play with abandon.
In my own bedroom, a 6×3 foot landscape drawn by my youngest daughter hangs at the foot of the bed above my scarves. It’s a place of honor. I love looking at it last thing before I fall asleep at night & again first thing in the morning. (I think I’m even going to have it professionally framed one of these days.)
I also love weddings. And wedding gowns. Gowns fashioned of fine fabrics & embellishments, constructed by couture craftsmen, filled with thoughtful, well-appointed details, designed to fit and flatter beautiful women as they ascend the aisle.
The fusion of two opposing concepts-of couture & kiddo-is not my favorite thing. In fact, I absolutely, unequivocally hate it.
It’s not my wedding, not my family….not my monkeys, not my circus. I get it.
I’m weighing in anyway. Opinions are like belly buttons; everybody’s got one.
Here’s mine: (and this is as close to a bare midriff that you’ll ever find me)
I’ve been designing weddings and doing flowers, planning & coordinating for 27 years, way before J-Lo was “The Wedding Planner”. I’ve sent well over 2,000 brides down the aisle. If any of my clients wound up with a dress that looked like this, somebody would have been in time-out, gotten grounded until the age of 27, sent to bed with no supper, or had their iPad/pod/phone sold on EBay (or maybe even a gotten a spanking)
I am a purist. My Midwestern, mother-of-two-and-grandmother-of-one practicalities outweigh any sense of sentiment.
I wonder if she had a planner or if she was indeed the ubiquitous “DIY Bride” ? Hmmmmm……
If I had the good fortune (?) of being her planner, here’s what I would have suggested in lieu of coloring on the couture:
-Have the children write & illustrate a small book filled with their favorite drawings, or perhaps tell a story (their family story…a wedding story!) complete with their own artwork. Publish it, and give it to guests as favors. One could give the books as Christmas presents for family & friends not in attendance.
-Use their art in the wedding program. Heck, use it on the cover, embossed or in gold foil!
-Allow the children to draw on the bottom of her & Brad’s shoes with a paint pen or a sharpie. It could even be done in blue for their “something blue”.
-Use the drawings on tins filled with cookies or candy, or canvas swag bags filled with extravagant Hollywood style gifts.
– Print the art directly onto frosted cookies for the guests to take as favors.
-Transfer the children’s art into jewelry–small pendants–that could be tied into moms bouquet.
-Find a concrete wall or cool sidewalk & turn those kiddos loose with chalk the day of the wedding. Afterwards, go have posed candids taken with the chalk art as a backdrop. It would cost a whole $3.00 in chalk & 30 minutes of unbridled creativity.
-You want kiddo’s art embroidered on the couture? Fine. (Rolls eyes) Do it in thread to match the dress so you have texture but no color. Monochromatic. And do it in a pattern that makes sense.
Just so you know, I’ve put no effort into this list. This is just off the top of my head. (I’m sitting in an airport waiting to take off, so I’m just killing time.) Imagine the possibilities if I actually spent time THINKING of alternatives & options.
There IS a place for the art of our beloved children. That’s why God made refrigerators. And scrapbooks. And picture frames. And coffee mugs. And school hallways.
Heck, if I was Brangelina, I’d open up a children’s art museum filled with the works of art from the fruit of my loins. And I’d invite other children to contribute. Especially children from the 3rd world countries where they selflessly give humanitarian aid. Then, sell the art to raise money so they could help even more impoverished children. Maybe they are already DOING that. I wouldn’t know. I don’t pay much attention to celebrities. Until they do something stupid.
With Brangelinas, um, shall we say….resources….the sky (and that no limit American Express card) is the limit when it comes to clever ways to incorporate their children into their wedding day. Oh well. Maybe for their next wedding?
You’ll be shocked to learn that I also think that “trash the dress” is just trashy, tacky, ill mannered & uncouth.
But what do I know? I’m just schlepping out weddings in the cornfield, traveling the tri-state & coast to coast, always “Doing my part to make your world more beautiful”
That’s my core value. My mission statement. I don’t stray from it.
And that’s why I have to say no to children’s art on a wedding dress.
At least she only put it on the back. I wouldn’t want to look at it either.